A Message to Sheryl Sandberg: Bossy is Never Cute.

In the WSJ article “Don’t Call Us Bossy,” Sheryl Sandberg recounts a warning her best friend received from a teacher advising her to “find a new friend…” because “nobody likes a bossy girl.” Ms. Sandberg goes on to lament, “How are we supposed to level the playing field for girls and women if we discourage the very traits that get them there?”

Okay, wait a minute.  Let’s not confuse personality traits, many of which are gender specific (like “bossy” for women and “bone-headed” for men), with the critical elements required for organizational success.

I am far from becoming the next COO or CEO of anyone’s organization, but as an experienced HR professional, I’ve had an opportunity to see behind the curtain of organizational success. 

Rising to the executive ranks in most organizations requires intellect (with a bias toward results), circumstance (meaning something happens to create an opportunity), and sponsorship (by an existing member of the executive leadership team).

I agree with Ms. Sandberg’s assertion that there are not enough women (or people of various colors for that matter) in executive leadership positions.  And the prevailing truth is that these positions are dominated by white men, who like most people, can find comfort in those with whom they are most familiar.

Diversity and inclusion have become critical business strategies for many US corporations, and white men have become important champions in the advancement of women and people of color.  There is an increasing need to rely on genuine talent and skill when filling executive roles while resisting the urge to find comfort in the familiar. 

Along the way, I've met successful women who are focused on results, give clear direction and know how to consider the thoughts and opinions of others.  These women are especially skilled at providing encouragement and support when needed while maintaining a high standard of execution.  Never do I hear these women referred to as bossy.