Originally published on LinkedIn on February 28, 2025 

A Note of Gratitude to the White Men Who Have Impacted My Professional Career

I am a proud patron of the Richmond Forum, a nationally recognized speaker series. The opening of a recent Forum session began with this beautiful message:

“In a time that magnifies the darkness of our differences, it’s easy to find solace in the familiar; but the connections we seek begin with patience, brave conversations, and a genuine desire to listen, learn, and grow. By igniting our curiosity for one another and opening our minds to new and challenging ideas, we’ll carve unchartered pathways in our understanding, and discover the universal connections that bond us together…”

Now that “DEI” has become an unfortunate acronym of division, these words of the Forum inspire me to acknowledge the White men in my life who have contributed to my success. Gratitude is a gift that should be shared.

Thank you to Bob Fricchione. You were before your time in 1991 when you taught me the importance of knowing the business, and how to leverage data to make decisions and influence outcomes. You also told/showed me you could learn from anyone. Thank you for taking me under your wing, when doing so was not popular; but popularity was not your goal.

Thank you to Mike Walton and Tim Caddigan, my first official sponsors, for being willing to put your social capital on the line to support my career advancement – no matter the cost.

Thank you to Jon Moore, Sam Bowen, and Regan Scott, for engaging in difficult discussions, because difficult discussions are the price of doing business. Thank you for recognizing that our disagreements were rooted in our shared desire for success. You never took our disagreements personally and always took time to hear my point of view. Thank you for never accusing me of being angry or emotional, and for seeing my sincere desire to advocate for what is right for the business and the employees it serves.

Thank you to Michael Manson, Wes Bizzell, and Chris Hilton for mentoring, coaching, listening, learning and growing with me. Our willingness to learn from one another made the workplace feel much more welcoming.

All of you taught me to believe in a meritocracy and showed me that merit is rooted in coaching, mentoring, opportunity and support – gifts each of you gave to me willingly. Merit is in the eye of the beholder, and I am grateful I caught your eye.

I’ve had the honor of sharing my gratitude directly with some of you. For the rest of you, may this message of thanks find you somehow.

SIDEBAR:
There have been scores of White women, Veterans, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and countless men and women of Color, who have supported my professional success, but I’d have to write a book to acknowledge everyone.

This country is one of the most diverse countries in the world. There is no “U.S.” without all of us.

Show Up to Shore Up!

Originally posted on my LinkedIn site in 2022: 

I am inspired by all the efforts to create flexible work arrangements, including the courage of leaders who actively support such efforts. 

But THIS post is for the employees on the front lines who don't have a choice. THIS post is for those employees who make and sell products every day; whose efforts enable the rest of us to ponder the merits of flexibility and hybrid work environments. THIS post is for the support organizations who understand that sometimes the best support can only be offered in person. THIS post is for the leaders of organizations with employees on the front lines who recognize that showing up is half of the equation for shoring up the needs of their employees. 

THANK YOU for what you've done in 2021. 

And here's to YOU in 2022!

Advocacy

Advocacy is not Easy!

Advocacy is not new. It's been around for years. Executives everywhere; executives anywhere, attain their statuses as a result of someone advocating on their behalf. Someone advocated for their assignments that strategically prepared them for the future. Someone advocated for them despite their failures. Someone advocated for them to be placed into their executive roles. 

The circumstances surrounding racial injustice following the murders of George Floyd, Amaud Arberry, and Breona Taylor - helped to influence the expansion of Diversity & Inclusion efforts to include "equity." The concept of equity includes the idea that women and people of color start from places that are farther behind their white, male counterparts. And, as a result, require advocacy to thrive and advance.

According to Dictionary.com, "advocacy" is defined as: "The act of pleading for, supporting, or recommending; active espousal." Advocacy is not a foreign concept. But equitable advocacy is tricky. 

In order to advocate for someone who is different, a person has to be willing to be judged. Advocating for someone who is different, or not readily accepted by main stream audiences requires a tremendous amount of courage. It requires risking one's own social capital. For example, a white male, wrongly advocating for another white male will likely outlive this error. But the risks associated with advocating for a woman or person of color can be unforgiving. In fact, the greater the difference between the advocator and the advocated, the higher the stakes. And mistakes? Forget about it. Mistakes are not easy to overcome in these situations.

Some executives need to be more "sure" of a woman or person of color before they are willing to put their own social capital on the line. This explains why white men get promoted based on potential, and women and people of color are subjected to rounds and rounds of development and mentorship, when what they really need is opportunity and support (even through failure). It is actual experience that sharpens performance and the process for sharpening skills is imperfect for anyone. High performance ratings doled out to women and people of color in the name of D&I metrics don't mean much without real progress on advancement to executive levels. 

So, if you advocate for others only when it's safe to do so - it doesn't count. Capable (and confident) leaders understand this, and make early investments in the success of the people they lead - regardless of race, ethnicity or gender - but especially in the case of race, ethnicity and gender. 

Tactical or Strategic. Which One Are You?

TACTICAL is having a bias for getting things done and celebrating the task(s).

STRATEGIC is pursuing a vision for impact, through thought, behavior and action.

Managers are high in tactical and leaders are high in strategic.

Both are needed.  Embrace who you are.

A Message to Sheryl Sandberg: Bossy is Never Cute.

In the WSJ article “Don’t Call Us Bossy,” Sheryl Sandberg recounts a warning her best friend received from a teacher advising her to “find a new friend…” because “nobody likes a bossy girl.” Ms. Sandberg goes on to lament, “How are we supposed to level the playing field for girls and women if we discourage the very traits that get them there?”

Okay, wait a minute.  Let’s not confuse personality traits, many of which are gender specific (like “bossy” for women and “bone-headed” for men), with the critical elements required for organizational success.

I am far from becoming the next COO or CEO of anyone’s organization, but as an experienced HR professional, I’ve had an opportunity to see behind the curtain of organizational success. 

Rising to the executive ranks in most organizations requires intellect (with a bias toward results), circumstance (meaning something happens to create an opportunity), and sponsorship (by an existing member of the executive leadership team).

I agree with Ms. Sandberg’s assertion that there are not enough women (or people of various colors for that matter) in executive leadership positions.  And the prevailing truth is that these positions are dominated by white men, who like most people, can find comfort in those with whom they are most familiar.

Diversity and inclusion have become critical business strategies for many US corporations, and white men have become important champions in the advancement of women and people of color.  There is an increasing need to rely on genuine talent and skill when filling executive roles while resisting the urge to find comfort in the familiar. 

Along the way, I've met successful women who are focused on results, give clear direction and know how to consider the thoughts and opinions of others.  These women are especially skilled at providing encouragement and support when needed while maintaining a high standard of execution.  Never do I hear these women referred to as bossy. 

It Ain't Over 'til it's Over!

There is only so much room at the top and after a while, some of us realize that our aspirations for the corner office will not be met.  This realization, along with watching others (with less experience) ascend to the top are enough to cause downright depression.  But do not worry - It ain’t over ‘till it’s over!

Stay in place with enthusiasm

If your salary is decent, your healthcare is covered and for the most part you enjoy working for the company, then sit back, relax and count your blessings!  Shake off any negative thoughts about under-achievement and get back in the game!  Read trade journals; attend seminars; take a class.  Do anything and everything to remain current.  Finish strong in your profession without regard to job title or pay grade.

We all leave legacies.  Be determined to leave a legacy from which those behind you will benefit greatly.  Corporate CEO’s, successful entrepreneurs, star athletes, etc. don’t get to the top without the coaching, support, and influence of someone before them.  End your career being missed and appreciated.  Don’t be that guy “who needs to be put out to pasture.”

Leave

Too many employees allow employers to determine their worth.  Consider the fact that a different employer could use your specific talent.  Just because you’ve peaked where you are does not mean someone else, somewhere else, could not use your specific skills and talents.  Just for kicks, spruce up your resume and give job hunting a shot.  If you get an offer – you don’t have to accept it.  Sometimes all you need is to be wanted.

Plan for Retirement

If you are in the enviable position of being able to do your job with very little effort, then spend the extra mental space with retirement planning.  Be diligent with your savings; explore ways to turn a hobby into something more (while you still have a regular income).  Invest in the community by volunteering.  See the world with different eyes.  Meditate, do yoga, relax!    Be glad you no longer have to worry about failure, setbacks, lost promotions, etc.  Rejoice in being able to decelerate as you approach the exit ramp to the second, third or fourth chapter of your life! 

Look in my eyes when you give me that performance review so I can see you lie to me!

Have you ever felt like you were hearing a bunch of lies about your performance during an annual review?  If this has ever happened to you, then you probably have a bad manager.  Feedback is a continuous process and there should never be any surprises during an annual review.  But before you shoot the messenger, take the time to think about the feedback you're getting. The truth is you might need to make some adjustments.  Feedback is a gift and can be hard to deliver, so take the time to honestly assess your opportunities.  If after all of that, the feedback really is "BS," then do what you normally do with that.