Beware of Cupid's Arrow at Work

Inter-office romance is quite common. In fact, a 2009 survey conducted by Vault.com indicates that almost 50% of its’ survey participants admitted to having an office romance. In another survey by CareerBuilder.com, 31% of the participants indicated that their office romance resulted in marriage.

So what’s the big deal? Why should anyone be leery of office romance? The answer depends on how much you value your career. Depending on the circumstances, office romance can become a detractor from an otherwise successful career.

Consider the following 3 reasons to avoid office romance:

1. Company policy might prohibit office romance. Some companies have policies that provide guidance for office romance. Be sure your company does not prohibit office romance altogether. With or without formal policies, some companies have unwritten rules for romantic behavior in the work place. Be sure you know what’s at stake before you agree to that first date at work.

2. Failed office relationships cause awkward situations. If your ex-romance partner works in the same department, attends the same meetings or participates on the same teams, work can become very stressful. Work is stressful enough without the added pressure of managing a failed relationship at work. Additionally, if either party handles the break-up poorly, the result can turn into a performance issue for both parties.

3. Dating a subordinate or direct report is unwise. Never date a direct report if you are a supervisor or manager. The stakes are too high. Not only do you risk being accused of playing favorites with your lover, you also risk the potential of a sexual harassment claim the minute you demote, fire, discipline or fail to promote your ex-lover.

If you find yourself smitten at work and feel comfortable navigating the 3 reasons to avoid an office romance above, then at least consider the following dos and don’ts as a final test before pursuing a romantic relationship at work:

DO remain discreet. Office romance might be acceptable at your company, but please be sure your behavior is appropriate. Most people expect a professional environment at work. Avoid stealing kisses in unoccupied conference rooms, break rooms and offices. You might think you are being discreet with these behaviors, but office rumors get started based on what people believe to be true, not what they actually see. There is a lot to talk about when two people are seen spending a lot of time together behind closed doors.

DON’T have an affair at work if you are married; and don’t have an affair with a married co-worker if you are single. This is not a values judgment; however, don’t risk your professional reputation on what others might view as bad judgment on your part.

DON’T sleep with your boss to get ahead. This is a values judgment.

DO be honest about a serious relationship at work and ask to be moved if you and your romantic partner work in the same department. You will be respected for your professionalism and integrity.